a good weekend

We ended up having a good weekend. On paper and as we were going through it, it probably doesn't seem that way. We didn't do any fall-themed activities and we spent a lot of time at home - but there were such fun moments involved through the 2 days.

Our babysitter moved this weekend and the person she planned to watch her kids wasn't able to last-minute, so she asked me if we could swap care Sat/Mon.  After talking with J who agreed to help out, we said yes. So, we had the 4 boys with us from 9-2 which ended up being mostly lots of fun. It was a typical fall-weather day, so they had some fun playing outside running around doing "bumper cars" in the cul-de-sac with their play ride-in cars. They had fun with the sand box and the swing set, etc. J got our 2 boys to nap at 1:00 and I hung out with the other 2 until their mom could pick them up. Then after naps the 4 of us went to Home Depot to check out flooring options (we're looking at vinyl interlocking planks made to be like hardwood throughout the the kitchen, living room, and hall way) - then we stopped at Kohls to check out rings for me since J wants to be sweet for "Sweetest Day". We're looking for an opal to represent the boys' October birthstone. On Sunday I was still dealing with my cold and we decided not to go to church (not the greatest choice) - but instead we ended up doing some major organization projects - mainly, getting that back bedroom cleared out and at least unburied the elliptical machine so that at least theoretically we can exercise daily again. It felt good, but it was a LOT of work - and we're far from done. While I was working on that room, J was making pork loin on the smoker (YUM!) and oven-roasted squash for dinner. The boys "helped me" - but mainly had a bunch of fun pretending the elliptical machine was an airplane, with one boy on each of the foot-plates. Then they found a pile of plastic cups that I'd stashed in the room - for some reason they found it HILARIOUS to throw the cups back and forth at each other and at J. I loved listening to their laughter. Grandma & Grandpa came over to have dinner late after the football game they were watching and the boys loved playing with them too - and that was a good distraction that allowed me to keep working on that room until bedtime.

As for the weight loss thing - well, I was convinced that I'd see a big drop this weekend, but didn't - the number on the scale stayed the same and I have to admit this was a big bummer. But I'm dedicated to this new way of eating and intend to add at least a bit of exercise and so I know that the weight will eventually come off - scientifically (calories in-calories out), it HAS to!  Just gotta persevere and be patient.

Monday update

We had a pretty good weekend, even though I'm sick with a cold that's now in my chest & I'm coughing. It's not enough to really keep me down, so the boys & I had adventures at the pumpkin patch on Saturday and zoo on Sunday. J was pretty committed to finishing his "spraying of lacquer on all the windows" project while he still has temps in the 70s. He got mostly done and is finishing up (hopefully!) today. Then on to the next thing. Actually, something really REALLY exciting is that he mentioned yesterday that he got another "no interest for 24 months" offer from Home Depot and suggested that we purchase the pergo/laminate flooring that we want to install in the living room, kitchen, and hallway!  It would be so so so wonderful to be done with the low quality carpet and the tiled kitchen that never could hold the grout. J's installed that tile 3 times and the grout just keeps cracking. We are done with tile and on to the fake-wood look throughout the house (except bedrooms, bathroom, closets.

A weight loss update: Still pressing on! This morning's scale read 202.8 which is nearly 4 pounds down from when I started last Wednesday. No real exercise, besides walking around at the zoo on Sunday and a very short walk while the boys rode bikes in the neighborhood Saturday evening. Which isn't good - but I'm glad I can drop weight even without formal exercise. I also guesstimated calories throughout the weekend, trying to underestimate where possible. It really went well. Didn't feel deprived, yet had good boundaries with the amounts I ate. Ideally I would know the exact amounts and calories of everything I consume and then keep that amount to 1600/day.  But the reality is that this is something I'm truly trying to incorporate into my life. I want to find a way of eating that works for me for the long haul. I struggle because I also want to drop weight as quickly as possible - because, hey, it's fun to see numbers drop and clothing fit loosely! But really I'm not desperately huge. From what I recall, this was about the weight I was when I got married nearly 6 years ago. Still over a hundred pounds down from my high before surgery nearly 7 years ago. And with all of my cholesterol, glucose, triglycerides levels in the normal/ideal range (except the good cholesterol that needs to be increased through exercise), I don't need to be in a hurry health-wise.  Much better to go about this at a normalish pace. We'll see.

yesterday went really well

Surprisingly had no big cravings for foods that aren't part of my planned calories for the day. Didn't really even feel hungry until it was dinner time and I did need to eat. Ate an apple while driving the boys to a playground to run off some energy. That got me through until after we got them in bed and then I had a PB&J sandwich. This morning I had my typical breakfast sandwich and my coffee/creamer, but ready to have a snack if hunger hit - but here I am 5 hours later and no hunger. Very interesting. I mean, I'm looking forward to having some lunch and will do in the next hour, but I'm amazed that I have no hunger or cravings at this point.

About the boys: W brought a plastic yellow car to the playground; G did not. G was very unhappy about this once we got there and begged to go back home to get a car to bring along. I couldn't believe this was such a big deal when we were actually there to run, jump, climb, swing, slide, etc. So, I used my cell phone's clock to set timer alarms for sharing this back and forth. This worked.

Calorie Counting Day 2

So, yesterday's tracker:

large egg 72

2 T cheese  52

breakfast thins  100

10 T coffee creamer 350

16 oz cantalope  155

lasagna  360

cheese stick 80

2 triscuits  40

large apple 116

2 cheese sticks + 4 triscuits = 240

1 thin slice deli roast beef = 20

TOTAL:  1585 calories

Changes for today: Well, I had to estimate the coffee creamer yesterday, because J didn't measure it and I wanted to overestimate rather than underestimate. I asked him to measure it this morning and he's got 7 tablespoons in my pot of coffee that I drink throughout the day. So, that saves some calories. I will likely try to have a "real meal" for dinner today - yesterday I was on-the-go because I was meeting a photographer at the park/playground for some photos of the boys with their cousin. They had scrambled eggs and toast while I was running around getting ready to go and then rather than risk myself getting too hungry by the end of the photos and then bingeing/making bad choices when I got home/got the boys to bed, I grabbed triscuits and cheese sticks to eat in the car. Then after the boys went to bed I had a large apple (measured on my food scale at 224 g). Plus a very thin slice of roast beef while I was getting the boys' sandwiches made for today's lunch.  All in all, not bad. 

Scale this morning reads 205.0 and I'll take it!

About the boys - we had a good time at the park/playground that we haven't visited before - it had a firetruck play structure and all 3 boys loved it. The amateur photographer had her hands full trying to get them to take any pictures because they were on the go - go - go, but hopefully we got some good ones. It was just a mini-session, less than an hour, for $30 to get the CD with printing rights. It might not be any better quality than what I would do myself, but this way we potentially will have some photos of me with the boys. We'll see. G's doing so very well with staying dry all night long. Not even 3 and he never wears a diaper - insists on wearing underwear to bed instead and he stays dry. Also doesn't have to wake up in the night to go to the bathroom. W is much more on the normal side for his age - he is staying dry during daytime naps, but then needs a diaper at night which I'm OK with - it's totally normal. I'm just so excited that they're completely potty trained during the day. A delightful surprise, since I just assumed we'd be working on this harder/longer into the 3's. They've been pretty consistent since the 4th of July when they were only 32 months old. Joy!

Almost a year

It's been almost a year since I posted anything in this blog!  I went back to it today by just googling "blogger" so that I could start up a new calorie restriction weight loss blog. But reading these posts about parenting the boys from a year ago - well, I realize that I (can/want to/should?) be writing about both topics. Just quickly on the boys - the "2's" have mostly been a really wonderful time. I'm not even really looking back with rose colored glasses. Sure, we've had some issues of defiance and pushing buttons with each other and with J and I - but mostly they've been really great little people to get to know as they have learned to communicate with us. Lots and lots and lots of words. They both have been speaking in 5-8+ word sentences for a few months now. Especially G lately likes to tell great stories about whatever he's thinking about (which drives J a little nuts sometimes, especially in the car) and W likes to ask why, why, why. And I love this - I really do. I just wish I always had the answers. He asks Why? and I respond - and then he wants to know why to my response - and then another why to that response. Which I guess can get a little exhausting, but I still love being able to talk with them and know what they're thinking about. We're using the 1-2-3 counting method for discipline/training behaviors. It seems to work OK for the most part. It sounds like the "3's" are typically much more challenging with that, so we'll see.

As for weight loss/calorie counting and restricting - well, J has managed to lose nearly 50 pounds from his top weight of when we got married. Nearly 6 years later he's feeling much better and his clothes are really loose. I'm so proud of him!  Meanwhile, I've been using food to deal with all kinds of feelings, from boredom to stress to depression to anxiety. And while I certainly can't manage to binge the way I did back when I ballooned above 300 pounds before surgery, I can apparently slow-and-steady gain weight. I was at my low weight in the weeks after the boys were born - 173 was my lowest. I'm up to 206 this morning. I can't let that continue - don't want to let that continue! I feel OK right now, but I know I will feel much better/more energetic when I drop this weight. My goal is to get to a healthy BMI as measured at the doctor's office. My height is now 5'8.5" and so my weight will need to be 166 to be within normal range. Usually I can guess/allow for an extra 5 pounds at the doctor's office versus my home scale, so my ultimate weight goal is to be 161 on my scale at home. Which obviously means I want to take off 45 pounds. Which will likely take at least a year. My plan is simple calorie restriction. My sister emailed me a link to a story about a nutrition professor who lost a lot of weight by eating only Twinkies and other processed/packaged food (maybe had one protein drink each day plus a multivitamin) and by keeping his calories restricted he was able to lose a bunch of weight. So my aim is to consume 1600 calories each day, which should translate to dropping one pound of fat each week. I'd like to add in some exercise because I'm totally completely sedentary right now. I have a desk job and my elliptical machine is buried in our 3rd bedroom under piles of miscellaneous items. If I do 5-10 minutes of moderate exercise each day, that's better than the 0 minutes I'm doing now!

So - my goal is to track this process daily for the next year, partly because supposedly tracking your food with a journal is one of the big indicators of weight loss success.  So, why not!

I did already meet a major goal this summer - to drop my addiction to Diet Pepsi. I was drinking SO VERY MUCH of that stuff every single day and I felt like it added to my cravings for salt/fat plus I had an increased drive for sweetness. So after I got home from our family vacation in July I decided I would go cold turkey and not drink any of it ever again. So far so good - it's been since Saturday, July 25 and now here we are on September 23, the first day of fall - and I have had none of it. I'm really proud of myself and really happy that I won't be passing along that tendency toward my boys with the bad example. Instead they see me drinking a lot of water.

I do want to take some body measurements too, so that I can track how these change along with the number on the scale. If I can dig out my tape measure I'll give that a try too.  So today is my first day of calorie control, which I expect will last a lifetime. I should be able to easily maintain 161 pounds with 1600 calories/day, especially with my bariatric surgery - I don't really feel hunger the way I used to before I did that. I will need to figure out how much coffee creamer J puts in my thermos of coffee each morning to determine how many calories I'm consuming from that - and I might need to cut that down!

I'm actually a little excited about this - we'll see how long that feeling lasts. ha ha

Happy Friday!

I loved watching the boys today just play with their kitchen using their microwave to heat up food - I had a longer time at home this morning because I had a doctor's appt and wasn't going into work until afterwards. They're so happy to play pretend. And last night - wow - it's become "All Star Wrestling" at our house. Suddenly they've discovered the joy of tackling each other and chasing each other from room to room - all while laughing deliriously. I had fun just listening to them (J and his friend were with them in the living room while I was cleaning up the kitchen). I so so so hope that G & W will be good friends. Watching them play & tease each other physically all in good fun feels like the start of that. We can hope!

we just hung out last night

It's funny - sometimes I think the only/biggest reason that the boys are excited to see me come home from work is that they're expecting that I'll take them "bye bye".  I'm sure I'm just being silly, but it's still a thought I deal with. Anyway, we didn't go anywhere last night. I came home from work and actually, no one was home! Grandma & grandpa had taken them in their little cars over to the neighbor, Willard, for a visit and weren't home yet. So, that was an odd unexpected 20 minutes to myself. Then Grandpa & G came home and G was very unhappy - it was clear he hadn't wanted to leave - either because he didn't want to be without W (Grandpa's theory) or because he didn't want to miss out on any fun. So, I took G back over there and we visited a little while. But that was the extent of our "bye bye" time last night. We worked on puzzles and we read books and we had dinner and we had BATH time.  G loves "swimming like a fish" on his tummy, but he loves it BEST when he's in there with W and has his feet in W's direction and kicks him.  Not cool with W, so we have lots of re-directing.

This morning when I was getting ready for work in the bathroom, I let them use brushes to brush their hair in there with me and let them brush their teeth too. They loved it and didn't mind a delayed breakfast (J had to run a last minute errand for my coffee creamer so it was just the 3 of us).